ENCOURAGED IN HEART

My weekly weigh-in revealed a one pound and two ounce loss.  This loss is particularly tender to me because I had an emotionally vulnerable week.  For the first time in my emotional eating life, I left an emotionally charged situation (where God had me practice true transparency) and did not even think about eating food afterwards! The victory tasted sweet and not a calorie was consumed in savoring the moment! I was so focused on getting home to journal that it was not until I was in the middle of writing that I realized, “WOW God, I didn’t even think about food!” What a special triumph in this journey!

God speaks differently to each of His kids.  This week’s nugget came via a blast from the past – (cue big baggy pants)…

Ice ice baby….doone, doone, doone, da-doone, dune…

I sang this 80’s classic as Dave and I sat in our cranberry colored kitchen, and iced various body parts…Dave – his knee (strained from running) and me – my foot (strained from biking). We belly laughed as we assessed our current, visually pathetic, physical state of affairs.  We’re in our 30’s…we’re not old! This whole healthy, exercise-orientated lifestyle just might kill us!

We continued to ice as I excitedly declared what this week’s blog is going to be, “Ice Ice Baby!” Dave’s bright blue eyes maintained a subtle delight as my beloved believes he still resides in the 80’s and that the rest of us are just confused!

To any other sisters, that are like Dave, in denial that the 80’s have in fact come and gone, open your COSTCO catalog! Look, right there on p. 65, they advertised the 25th – Anniversary Edition of Michael Jackson’s Thriller CD/DVD – which just so happened to be my, uh-hem…very first cassette tape! Here’s the evidence, see the number 25 on the cover?

Did I not just write that we’re not old? A 25th anniversary of whatever makes me feel, kind of old!  Okay, back to the nugget God revealed:

THERE IS PAIN INVOLVED IN GETTING MY LIFE ALIGNED TO GOD’S WILL.

Are you ready to get sweatin’ to the oldies’ with that encouraging nugget?

Dave and I are in pursuit of a balanced, healthy life.  In our former imbalance, we neglected routined exercise (oh yeah…portion control, water intake and praying to God for help too!).

God, ice and Advil (dabbled with a heating pad) are our current pain relief!

I reminisced about my former pain relief, food.  When I felt happy, sad, alone, angry, out of control, I binged on large quantities, normally alone (just where the devil wants to keep me, alone), to suffocate the emotional pain.  My spirit shrank as my waistline grew. All three are connected and God cares very much about each.

As food is being put in its place, below God, I feel a lot more pain, but also a lot more joy! It’s a promise in Psalm 30:5 that there is pain…but joy comes after!

God is a tri-part being and so am I.  I have a spirit, emotions and a body that all need to be stewarded.

Spiritually speaking, the over abundant food I ate, plugged my ears from hearing clearly from God. Sin has a way of doing that.  I feel both love and pain as God corrects comforts and guides me to Truth (2 Timothy 3:16-17).   It’s certainly not been easy, but there again is joy, poking her promised face, as God continues to meet me where I am at.

Emotionally speaking, I misused food to deny the pain experience. I used food to act as a plug to the dam of my heart. As the plug (food) is being removed, the backed up water is flowing out of my tear ducts, healing me.  God is teaching me to put a name to my feelings, “I feel angry because my Mom died and I want her here to help me navigate this wild ride called motherhood” or “I feel mad because the give-take ratio in that friendship is not balanced, I feel taken for granted.” etc.

Physically speaking – I am feeling hunger for the first time, identified by tummy grumblings and my exercise life is periodically requiring….ice, ice baby!

Training your body helps you in some ways, but serving God helps you in every way by brining you blessings in this life and in the future life too.
1 Timothy 4:8 (NCV)

I will continue to exercise my physical body in a balanced perspective. There is pain involved in not doing life my way, but rather God’s way. But God has become my primary source of pain relief and I am being comforted…so I will comfort you. Isaiah 66:13 (NIV)

What/Who is your current source of pain relief?

My weekly weigh-in resulted in, get this…exactly a two pound, one ounce loss. I had to laugh as that was the precise amount of my gain last week.  Does God have a sense of humor or what? So another round of “around the scale” yo-yo time!

This week’s nugget came from a gourmet cooking moment with my crock pot! My friend, Jamie, sent me her Crock Pot Chili recipe.  I love chili and I love my crock pot but it never dawned on me to combine the two!  And so I did…

There’s just something about my crock pot that makes me feel like…okay, I’ll confess it – a gourmet chef! My anticipation is awakened as I know flavors are combining, tantalizing aromas are filling the air, a variety of textures meshing together, gently simmering, all because I turned a nob on and let all the stuff sit for hours on end!  The final masterpiece rewards me with a feast unlike any other (truly, because with me at the driver’s wheel of the crock pot, there consistently a new experience waiting!).  But again, as always, after the build up to the big “event”, came the clean up.

Yup, the clean up with a crock pot requires good ol’ elbow grease.  So much that I straight away recalled why it took me so long to take it out again…the mandated elbow grease!

Instead of going for spick and span that night (I just hate waking to dishes in the sink!), I let my crock pot soak overnight.  I awoke to marvel in the contrasted ease…some elbow grease, but nothing crazy like a Richard Simmons workout video!

Right there, as my hands continued to chap in the sudsy, semi chili-i-fied water, God revealed my weekly nugget.  My crock pot and I have a lot in common!

Know what it took to get my crock pot cleaned up?

SOAKING IN THE WATER, WORK, TIME AND PATIENCE!

Me too.  The weight of my numerous past overindulged gourmet moments, that smelled and tasted so delightful, well, they stuck on me, real good.  Know what it is taking for me to arrive at my God directed goal weight? (One guess….look at the obnoxiously large letters above that are  just screaming at you!)

SOAKING IN THE WATER, WORK, TIME AND PATIENCE!

I believe work, time and patience are self explained.   But there’s a “catch” to water.  Physical water is essential to this journey, but it is the spiritual water that is most important.  In John 4:14, Jesus invited people to drink of the water of life.  I need to continually drink in The Water, the Lord, for fellowship, perspective, reality check, love, encouragement, praise.  He is THE water.  I need to continue to soak in The Water, for that is where life is!

Jesus said, “Everyone who drinks this water will get thirsty again and again. Anyone who drinks the water I give will never thirst—not ever. The water I give will be an artesian spring within, gushing fountains of endless life.” John 4:14 (The Message)

How’s your Water intake today?

My routine Sunday morning weigh-in didn’t happen this Sunday.  I avoided it (and rationalized that I didn’t want to wake my cute hubby by rumbling around on the bathroom scale – what a martyr I am this Sunday!).

Truth be told, I dreaded what my white square friend would tell me. So, twenty four hours later, my “Sunday” (okay, Monday) weigh-in took place and revealed a two pound, one ounce gain.  Ugh…

I refuse to fill this screen up with anything but the truth (because that is what sets me free), so here it goes. Our youngest son celebrated his third birthday.  I used the week building up to the weekend festivities as a reason (aka: lame excuse) to opt out of my eating plan and not just partake in, but over indulge and revert back to partying with an old friend of mine, SUGAR!

Who knew randomly the colored frogs that decorated his cake could be so irresistible?!? (Okay, gluttony is not a laughing matter…refocus Steph!)

Here’s an insiders view to my past week’s thoughts:

It’s only two cake batter beaters…it’s not like I’m eating a whole piece of cake! (So those calories don’t count.)

The spoonful(S) of leftover icing that wasn’t needed for the cake, I just sampled the “leftovers”. (Those calories don’t count either because the party didn’t start yet.)

The second piece of cake eaten, because I left a forkful of cake on my first piece? (Okay, those calories didn’t count because I sacrificed earlier calories!)

…Grace mixed with faith and love poured over me and into me. And all because of Jesus.  1 Timothy 1:14 (MSG)

I am a recovering food addict. And I slipped.  I deeply thank Jesus that He’s given me enough grace, faith and love each day that I don’t have to stay stuck in my past week’s inconsistent performance.  My faith walk is not about a perfect performance but rather my heart in pursuit of Him.  Jesus’ free give of grace does not give me the opportunity to stay stuck in sloppy living, but does allow for slip-ups.

I remember back, five years ago, when I began this whole healthier-life-journey.  It started with a pen, journal and one faith step – right onto the very same scale I avoided this past Sunday, to do some serious counting of my formerly obese frame.  Some time passed, then another step, I took a tape measure, and counted various body parts to quantify my body fat, my BMI, my hip to waist ratio (cue – vomit-like reflex).

I counted all these measurements in my journal.  It wasn’t really exciting – it was more of a shameful and disgusted feeling. But I didn’t stop there and quit.  Some more time passed, I took another step and refocused my exercise program.  More time, another step, I evaluated my eating.  Additional time passed, and so did another step, I dove into some great resources to guide me.

(Side note: I am a HUGE advocate of the book, workbook and devotional titled Lose It For Life by Stephen Arterburn and Linda Mintle.  You can check these resources out at http://www.newlife.com/)

God revealed that each of these steps counted to me and to Him. Each counted as a step closer to humility – something I never realized I sorely lacked.

I’d be lying if I told you the numbers on this week’s weigh-in encouraged me. They did not.  But one difference in me today is, I refuse to stay discouraged and disappointed.  God demands that I make another choice.  True life and health are a gift from God. I won’t get there (my healthy future) if I’m moaning about last week (my unhealthy past).

The two pound weight gain won’t make me hit the gym seven days a week or go on some crazy, non-God-lead fast – in a feeble attempt to get rid of the two pounds.  I’ve tried quick fixes – they last about as long as they promise – quick! Slow and steady weight loss is a sure thing!

The two pound weight gain will make me stop, breathe and evaluate weak areas in my eating.  In doing so, I realized I do not count calories that I eat alone.  So I have committed to not eat alone this week.  Not as complicated as I thought (or as I try to make it!)

The truth is, in preparing for the birthday festivities this past week:

The licked cake battered beaters – counted.

The sampled leftover icing – counted.

The consumed multiple birthday cake pieces – counted.

The unrestricted quantities of chips and salsa – counted.

The commitment to never turn back and keep pressing forward (Galatians 6:9) – counted and continues to count!

But don’t begin until you count the cost… Luke 14:28 (NLT)

I had no idea what God was going to do in me when I first started to keep count.  Counting the costs comes in many shapes and sizes.  I step on the scale almost every morning. It provides me the necessary accountability to not let even one day slip, and not count.

I’m so glad (now) that Jesus gave me the strength to count and face my “numbers” five years ago.  Frequently, I’ve looked back in times of plateaus and weight gains, they have reminded me to see where He has brought me from.

As I returned to recount the many numbers of old this week, do you know what I saw? A woman who made many mistakes but those mistakes were far outweighed by the progress…and that counts for a whole lot!

What do count that truly counts?