ENCOURAGED IN HEART

My routine Sunday morning weigh-in didn’t happen this Sunday.  I avoided it (and rationalized that I didn’t want to wake my cute hubby by rumbling around on the bathroom scale – what a martyr I am this Sunday!).

Truth be told, I dreaded what my white square friend would tell me. So, twenty four hours later, my “Sunday” (okay, Monday) weigh-in took place and revealed a two pound, one ounce gain.  Ugh…

I refuse to fill this screen up with anything but the truth (because that is what sets me free), so here it goes. Our youngest son celebrated his third birthday.  I used the week building up to the weekend festivities as a reason (aka: lame excuse) to opt out of my eating plan and not just partake in, but over indulge and revert back to partying with an old friend of mine, SUGAR!

Who knew randomly the colored frogs that decorated his cake could be so irresistible?!? (Okay, gluttony is not a laughing matter…refocus Steph!)

Here’s an insiders view to my past week’s thoughts:

It’s only two cake batter beaters…it’s not like I’m eating a whole piece of cake! (So those calories don’t count.)

The spoonful(S) of leftover icing that wasn’t needed for the cake, I just sampled the “leftovers”. (Those calories don’t count either because the party didn’t start yet.)

The second piece of cake eaten, because I left a forkful of cake on my first piece? (Okay, those calories didn’t count because I sacrificed earlier calories!)

…Grace mixed with faith and love poured over me and into me. And all because of Jesus.  1 Timothy 1:14 (MSG)

I am a recovering food addict. And I slipped.  I deeply thank Jesus that He’s given me enough grace, faith and love each day that I don’t have to stay stuck in my past week’s inconsistent performance.  My faith walk is not about a perfect performance but rather my heart in pursuit of Him.  Jesus’ free give of grace does not give me the opportunity to stay stuck in sloppy living, but does allow for slip-ups.

I remember back, five years ago, when I began this whole healthier-life-journey.  It started with a pen, journal and one faith step – right onto the very same scale I avoided this past Sunday, to do some serious counting of my formerly obese frame.  Some time passed, then another step, I took a tape measure, and counted various body parts to quantify my body fat, my BMI, my hip to waist ratio (cue – vomit-like reflex).

I counted all these measurements in my journal.  It wasn’t really exciting – it was more of a shameful and disgusted feeling. But I didn’t stop there and quit.  Some more time passed, I took another step and refocused my exercise program.  More time, another step, I evaluated my eating.  Additional time passed, and so did another step, I dove into some great resources to guide me.

(Side note: I am a HUGE advocate of the book, workbook and devotional titled Lose It For Life by Stephen Arterburn and Linda Mintle.  You can check these resources out at http://www.newlife.com/)

God revealed that each of these steps counted to me and to Him. Each counted as a step closer to humility – something I never realized I sorely lacked.

I’d be lying if I told you the numbers on this week’s weigh-in encouraged me. They did not.  But one difference in me today is, I refuse to stay discouraged and disappointed.  God demands that I make another choice.  True life and health are a gift from God. I won’t get there (my healthy future) if I’m moaning about last week (my unhealthy past).

The two pound weight gain won’t make me hit the gym seven days a week or go on some crazy, non-God-lead fast – in a feeble attempt to get rid of the two pounds.  I’ve tried quick fixes – they last about as long as they promise – quick! Slow and steady weight loss is a sure thing!

The two pound weight gain will make me stop, breathe and evaluate weak areas in my eating.  In doing so, I realized I do not count calories that I eat alone.  So I have committed to not eat alone this week.  Not as complicated as I thought (or as I try to make it!)

The truth is, in preparing for the birthday festivities this past week:

The licked cake battered beaters – counted.

The sampled leftover icing – counted.

The consumed multiple birthday cake pieces – counted.

The unrestricted quantities of chips and salsa – counted.

The commitment to never turn back and keep pressing forward (Galatians 6:9) – counted and continues to count!

But don’t begin until you count the cost… Luke 14:28 (NLT)

I had no idea what God was going to do in me when I first started to keep count.  Counting the costs comes in many shapes and sizes.  I step on the scale almost every morning. It provides me the necessary accountability to not let even one day slip, and not count.

I’m so glad (now) that Jesus gave me the strength to count and face my “numbers” five years ago.  Frequently, I’ve looked back in times of plateaus and weight gains, they have reminded me to see where He has brought me from.

As I returned to recount the many numbers of old this week, do you know what I saw? A woman who made many mistakes but those mistakes were far outweighed by the progress…and that counts for a whole lot!

What do count that truly counts?