ENCOURAGED IN HEART

My weekly weigh-in revealed a one ounce loss! FINALLY, no gain and a drip toward loss! I celebrated with a flex in my bathroom mirror!

I want to give credit where credit is due.  This week’s nugget was originated from the Lose It For Life Devotional on March 18 titled, “Humility Not Humiliation”.  The verse cited was, Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you. James 4:10 (New American Standard Bible)

As the raw humility-not-humiliation thoughts began tenderizing on the rotisserie wheel I call my brain,

God lovingly revealed – I have a humility “issue” (that is a non-humble way of saying “sin”).

This coming from the woman who has vowed to serve the Lord in any way He deems necessary, until the day I die.  That is, as long as I don’t have to reveal too many of my past sins, my short comings, or my weaknesses.  Basically, that I will serve God as long as I do it on my terms. YIKES! And the survey says:

In the words of Mrs. Bozek and Mrs. Angilletta (my sons three year old preschool teachers), “that is a thumbs down choice (Steph)”.

When pride comes, then comes dishonor, but with the humble is wisdom. Proverbs 11:2 (New American Standard Bible)

Pride is sin. It not only separates me from intimacy with God, but it inhibits intimacy in all other relationships.  God just made it sound pretty crystal clear, it’s smart to be humble (that’s the Jersey-Girl-Steph translation of the above Proverbs 11:2).

When I shove limitless quantities of food down the hatch, whether I am truly hungry or not, I am again telling God that I will eat whatever I want, whenever I want.  If I stop eating when my stomach is content, that honors God.  If I continue to eat past physical hunger, that does not honor God.

I still have a lot of hunger pangs.  When I satisfy my spiritual hunger first (by daily private time with God), I see an ease (grace) that flows in resolving my physical hunger.  I am more attentive to listen and obey my physical hunger pangs.  When I put God first, all other areas of my life work out better! That makes sense to me!

When I try to satisfy my physical hunger first, this is the outcome:

It isn’t pretty and it most certainly does not honor God.

As I type this, the song, “You Know Me” came on my spiffy palm pilot/phone/calendar/p-tunes player (from the WOW Gospel 2007 CD)

“You Know Me”
By George Huff (Yup, he’s the one from American Idol for any fans out there!)

You know me everything I do
You know me I’m a window you see through
When all the world is not at home your waiting for me at the door
And you let me in
Its all beautiful

When I stumble you bruise when I hurt myself it hurts you
So when I make you cry it makes me never want to fall again
But the smaller I am the larger your love

You know me everything I do
You know me I’m a window you see through
The most foolish thing I could ever do
Is think that I could lie to you
And put up walls you’d see through them

Cause you know me you know me you know the secrets and the scars
That’s how into me you are Cause you know me

In a street full of noise its amazing how you can still hear my voice
And when I pull away you care enough to patiently wait
‘Till I come back around like I am now
It’s beyond beautiful

Cause you know me you know me you know the secrets and the scars
That’s how into me you are Cause you know me

I’m a window you see through
When all the world is not at home
you know the secrets and the scars
That’s how into me you are Cause you know me

What beautful words! The smaller I am, the larger your love…as I practice humility, I become “smaller”, and God appears more true to His size, BIG!

I take tremendous comfort in this scripture,

Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame.
Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. Isaiah 54:4a (New International Version)

As I attempt to humble myself and reveal more of the real me, I trust God has my back.

Do you trust God has your back?

My weekly weigh in revealed a one ounce gain. Blah.  I am struggling this month.  As I near my final goal, the refined eating required to continue losing weight is annoying!  Gone are the weekly weigh-ins of two pound losses.  This whole refining my life for life is not for the weak.  I deeply desire to be a champion for Christ.  So, to give myself a pep talk, I journaled about what a true champion is. I came up with three things:

1. A champion is not defined by her defeats.
2. A champion is defined by her sweet victory.
3. The most important step in each champion’s victory is her refusal to quit.

Refusal to Quit.

Right there is the essence of a champion.  For if she quit she’d never have arrived at her sweet victory! I am a champion not because of my obnoxious one ounce gain, but rather for my refusal to quit. Because Galatians 6:9 is so deeply imbedded in my spirit, I trust that God is not a liar, I will reap (a harvest of weight loss), should I not quit.  The sweet victory, that I’m now in single digits to my final goal, is just too close…I smell sweet victory in the air!

The Lord has carried me through numerous intense seasons of pain:  my mother’s death, three of our children’s deaths, my niece’s death, and my marital death.  Through these painful times, slowly my weight crept up as I stuffed each tear down with extra calories, to sooth the pain and grief.

I am receiving emotional healing as God is showing me how to Biblically deal with pain – by crying, journaling, turning to Him, the Bible and my awesome support network.

In Boundaries With Kids by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend, they wrote about how you can be a pain embracer or a pain avoider; that pain avoiders don’t grow and that pain embracers do.  My pain avoiding has affected every part of my being:

Physically – I gained weight, experienced joint pain and lost energy.

Emotionally – I isolated myself from my true feelings, myself and others; therefore not letting myself or others know the true me.

Spiritually – I turned to food and rejected God as my comforter.

Do you know what it has taken me to be a champion and face pain? COURAGE.

Jesus turned—caught her at it. Then he reassured her: “Courage, daughter. You took a risk of faith, and now you’re well.” The woman was well from then on. (PRAISE GOD!)  Matthew 9:20-22 (MSG)

It took a Jesus-originated courage to embrace pain.  I again need courage to face every part of my being:

Physically – It took courage to show up at the gym in my obese condition.  (I am a military veteran and an athlete all my life.  I faced pain and shame as I faced where I let myself deteriorate to.)

Emotionally – It took (and is taking) courage to learn how to face and say how I am truly feeling (I still struggle in this area!). It takes a whole lot of courage to be an honest emotional steward. Particularly because I am a recovering people pleaser!

Spiritually – (this one is going to sound nutty!) It took courage to learn how to depend on God (I know, I know…He’s GOD!).  I am a rehabilitating self-reliant, can-do, Git-R-Done kinda gal – it requires courage for me to turn from self-reliance to God-reliance.

He gave me strength and courage and as promised, He is blessing me!

“The Lord will give strength to His people; The Lord will bless His people with peace. Psalm 29:11 (NAS)

Have you unlocked your inner champion? If not, what’s blocking you?

Lysa TerKeurst is having a blog contest for organization at http://lysaterkeurst.blogspot.com/ !

I LOVE THIS! I’m a lover of an organized environment (it gives me the false sense that I actually have some control in my life!)  and tips so here’s my idea – it’s economic, educational, and foot friendly (please see #3)!

1. It is cheap…um, I mean “inexpensive” to do – one trip to Walley-World will do ya!
2. It helps teach my kids word recognition and how to care for their “stuff”!
3. It reduces center foot pain (now the little bitty toys have somewhere to rest other than the floor…where I’m bound to step on them!)

I bought see-through plastic shelved drawers – they stack or sit side by side.  I then found an Internet photo of each toy or theme, typed a simple descriptive word, printed both off, and taped it to the outside of the proper drawer.  Voila!  My five year old can learn small word recognition and my three year old can match the photo with the toys that go in the drawer! I now avoid being the Easter Bunny, crazy and hopping around with foot pain!

As for my drop and hide spot, it’s the downstairs closet off our playroom!  I close the door, smile and don’t see anything!

Of interest, I just recognized this today, my desk is located exactly in the middle of my most organized and most disorganized portions of my home!  So I sit here contemplating…as I am a rookie writer stepping out – this is exactly what the writing process is like for me – a mess of ideas, dying to get organized!