ENCOURAGED IN HEART

My weekly weigh-in revealed a four ounce gain. Much to my surprise, it’s just not that big of a deal! I take tremendous joy (not pride) in writing that. I can remember a time when a four ounce gain would ignite spiraling negative self talk,

See Steph…you’ll never get “there”. Just quit.  Why do you keep trying, you’re not meant to lose weight…you’re just big boned. Accept it and just quit.

The best way I can capture this sweet mental victory is by one word: transformation!

I’m not talking about the external (physical) transformation; I’m talking about the internal (spiritual and emotional) transformation that the Lord is doing in me! More simply put – a heart transformation!

The weekly nugget that God birthed is from a play session with our son, Jake.  Jake is completely obsessed with Transformers.  Sadly, I am not.  In my pursuit to meet my son where he’s at, I suck it up, and play Transformers with him, and I’m happy that we’re connecting.  However, I’d rather play a wild round of Go Fish, throw a ball, or even snuggle on the couch with a new library book borrow.  But no, Transformers is his first choice.

So I choose to pause, and have a short rant about Transformers…what’s the deal with them? They insult my post-collegiate education.   My “play resume” is extensive in the backgrounds of the Strawberry Shortcake Gals, Smurfs, Atari…but Transformers – I’m a dud.  I’ll show you what I mean:

See that?  That is Jake’s fav, Optimus Prime.  For the above displayed toy, the instructions list it is for AGES: 5 & Up. I happen to fall into the “& Up” category.  Do you have any idea how many little pieces need to be manipulated and finessed until it arrives at robot form?  I’m a bumbling fool in my attempt to transform these toys from the vehicle form into their intended robot.  This is coming from the Rubik’s cube queen who put together the Rubik cube all by herself (okay scratch that, I took the thing apart to make the cube complete!) See…there’s more transformation – no more cheating!

Here’s my speed, where the instructions list AGES: 3 and Up.  You hit one button, and, to my delight, the transformation occurs instantaneously! A quick, easy fix! I’ll show you:

And here is where God delivered me to my spiritual “a-ha” moment.  When I fumble with the AGES 5 & Up version, inevitably, I need to stop and refer back to the detailed instructions on how to make the required changes.  If I remain in the AGES 3 & Up, I do not  need to depend on the instructions.  It’s just one button and voila – a quick fix!

I am growing up in my spiritual life, and still fumble with the AGES 5 & Up version of life.  Inevitably, I find myself a similar bumbling fool until I stop and refer back to the detailed Instructions, on how to make the required changes, found in the Bible.  God is transforming this self-reliant, independent woman into a God-dependent one.  I bumble less, exercise more and eat less when I depend on Him, not me.

Transformation takes practice, patience and continually referring back to THE instruction book.  God’s word is vital to my internal transformation which has everything to do with my external transformation.

The Transformer slogan is “more than meets the eye”. In God’s perspective, spiritual transformation is much more than what meets the eye (physical weight loss).  It’s my internal, spiritual and emotional life, my heart, that God deeply desires.

Jake and I have quite a bit in common, our love of TRANSFORMATION!  His just so happens to be the plastic version.  The 63 pounds of my physical transformation is visible to others. And it is my heart’s intention that the 63 pounds of spiritual and emotional healing are also visible too!

God, in His vast love, is transforming me, step by step, month by month, more into His likeness! Why? Because others need to see the glory of the Lord present and alive today! They need to see what God is capable of.  I love what the President of the Proverbs 31 Ministry, Lysa TerKeurst, says, “People will know Jesus when they know the reality of Jesus in me.”  God and His glory need to be alive and active in our lives today, for other lives to be impacted!

And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. 2 Corinthians 3:18 (New International Version)

Where do you sense God is transforming you today?

My weekly weigh-in revealed a fourteen ounce loss (yes, even ounces count in my world!). Happy about the loss and even happier what God revealed to me, that I am changing!  I’m not talking about the “outside” of me (Voila…fourteen ounces gone!); I’m talking about the inside of me!

The nugget this week is about my choice to finally surrender, change, and refuse to do life alone.

I’ve never met the woman, but clearly, she wrote my autobiography.  Mary Cook in This I Believe wrote, “I took pride in the fact that I rarely asked for help or favors.  I defined myself by my competence and independence.  So who was I if I was no longer capable and busy?  Learning how to receive the love and support that came my way wasn’t easy.  I believe there is strength in surrender.”

Ugh.  Surrender…sounds just about as enticing to me as the words yield or pap smear!

Surrender comes at risk of trusting God.  Did I just write that? Who can’t trust God?  Let me take it one step further.  I’ve been hurt before (yup, even by church folk!) and though appearing breezily friendly on the outside (voted Most Friendly in High School), I guarded my heart with lock and key – like a prison.  And that was exactly what my heart was in, a prison.  I am unlocked into freedom only as I demonstrate my trust in God by opening myself up to trust others.  Sounds easy?  Not to a self sufficient go-getter like moi!

My girlfriend, Jen, and I were talking weeks ago about how a bunch of weight came off both of us and that we’re “stuck” in the same weight fluctuations, dare I write the word “plateau”.  She wisely said, “I think it’s taking time because I will quickly take the credit and not give God the credit.”  I humbly and regretfully agreed.  If I tried to lose weight alone, I would have missed the comfort, wisdom and truth Jen spoke.  I would have been stranded on Plateau Island alone.  But because we visited together, it made me want to build a sand castle!

For my sisters that care to share and grow together through this journey – refuse to do it alone.  God never intended us to do “life alone”.  I’ve tried that approach, and it just made me feel, well…lonely.  I allowed my sinful pride to override God’s best for me.

I will continue to blog my heart, best I know how – just know you’re never alone.  As I experiment with trusting others, I have been hurt and let down.  And there God was.  He listened to my moans, picked me back up and told me to, “keep on, keepin’ on kiddo”!  I have also been loved on and accepted.  And there God was again and He celebrated with me!

It is true, people will let me down, but God…He promises He won’t (falls under the “never leave or forsake you” category!)!  (See Deuteronomy 31:6 for proof!)

I leave you today with these encouraging words from Ecclesiastes 4:9-10:

“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.  If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.” (New Living Translation)

Are you tired of doing life alone?