My weekly weigh-in revealed a one pound, two ounce loss! YES! Take that Lucy! Four pounds to go until I hit 70 pounds gone! I’m plugging away, at times wearily, but still going forward. I think of something my Pop told me when times got tough, “keep punching” (referencing what a fighter does when cornered in the ring)…and so a smile transforms my serious straight lined mouth as both my earthly and Heavenly Dad’s advice echo the same truth – don’t quit and keep punching! (I’m pretty psyched as I “punched” a new hole in my favorite silver plated, black leather belt just today!)
The nugget God dropped into my heart this week continues to reflect past wisdom He’s nurtured me with, “I get by with a little help from my friends!” I looked up the lyrics, and I’m going to highlight two verses of this Beatles song:
I get by with a little help from my friends,
I’m gonna try with a little help from my friends.
(The next verse has to do with getting “high” and that is so not where I’m going with this! I’ll stretch it to spiritually high and move on to my next thought!) 
I am quite reflective on this journey. As I gratefully look at how much God loves me too much to leave me where I am at, I see a trend. What I lacked and needed, God provided. I needed a support infrastructure that extends further than “just God and me”. True, I need God first in my life (Matthew 6:33). However God adds, He gives us others as a gift. He has taught me to open the gift, and trust others.
Sadly, that is something I have not been good at. For someone voted, “Most Friendly” in high school, friendliness and people-pleasing architected the mask I wore. I kept others at arm’s length. As soon as someone got too close, I unwittingly terminated the relationship, or allowed it to gently erode.
Through prayer, journaling and reading informative books, God gave me a powerful revelation. My fear of intimacy ties back to one of the largest wounds in my heart – my mother’s death when I was a young teen. I feared trusting others. After cancer invited itself into my Mom’s body, our home, family structure and a life I deemed normal, died. My capacity to trust was volcanically destroyed.
I indulged myself with, “I don’t need anyone, I can do it all myself. I’m a strong woman!” I swallowed, digested and carried the 80’s woman mantra, “I’ll bring home the bacon (okay, turkey burgers as I don’t eat pork!), fry it up in the pan (I prefer grilled or baked please)…
Though still feministic at heart, I believe the 80’s were majorly mean to women. Burn your candle and both ends to prove your worth. My entry into the military and later law enforcement seasoned my disillusioned thinking. Don’t be equal to men, be better! HELLO, God called us, “Whoa –Man!” He was impressed with His creation and so should we!
That’s precisely where God opened my eyes through Joyce Meyer’s teaching, “don’t confuse my who from my do”. Meaning, don’t take more worth in the world’s titles, than my title as being God’s kid.
I started the weight loss journey on the road marked, Just God and Me Avenue. He placed a traffic sign marked, Yield (ouch!).
He gave me the clear directions to go back one block to “Others Are Needed Parkway”. I decided to ignore and continue. It was a long, dark, bumpy and lonely road. The bumpiness caused delays (plateaus).
I savvily redirected up to the expressway, where superficially, I made some progress, but then realized it was just an obnoxiously large jug handle (that’s a Jersey-ism meaning a circle that took a lot of pavement to bring you back to the same point!). And right there, in front of my eyes, was an over sized fork in the road. Not the kind of fork that made me get onto this journey in the first place…
I had to stop and evaluate my past traveled roads.
I could continue on the road I was on, but I knew the end result. It was a confusing jug handle. Just a bunch of journey with no progress. Nope.
Or, I could take the expressway. But, I tried that one. It didn’t work either.
Lastly, I could pull over and see some familiar smiling faces. That was it! I needed road trip buddies! Everyone knows how much fun road trips are! How could I have overlooked this detail? Oh, that’s right, my pride swelled so large, I couldn’t see the neon Road Trip sign!
Jesus had road trip buddies too! They were called the Twelve Disciples. He had three that He particularly depended on and “did life” with, Peter, James and John. The other nine men, He still was close with, but not quite as intimate. All twelve comprised Jesus’ inner and outer circles of friendship. Sadly, they were bookended by two betrayers – Peter and Judas Iscariot (
Matthew 4:18-22). So, I had to face the truth. A small portion of my road trip buddies may not need to stay in the car to finish the journey. I have felt the betrayal sting in my youth. That painful sting rationalized my previous lonely journey.
I don’t want to sound like I’m making a “man made rule” (like the stick in the mud Pharisees), but I decided that Jesus gave His life to act as a blueprint in which to model my own. I have three inner circle people, my hubby and two girlfriends that are my accountability partners. We have weekly scheduled dates and talk for at least an hour. We share highs and lows, prayer requests and joys!
Road trips are more fun when you’re not alone!
Since we wear many hats, as most women do, and time is tight, my long distance accountability partner and I talk when Jake’s at school and Cal is napping. I hit my elliptical during that time too as I desperately need the exercise accountability. My local accountability partner and I wake early one morning a week (before kids are up and hubby’s are at work), to walk and talk. I enjoy the conversations so much, that I don’t realize I am sweating like my old self in a candy store!
I need to have continuous association and grow in intimate fellowship of one another and in Jesus. Sometimes life gets “hairy” and we have to be clever about rescheduling, but God always works it out.
Through the last year, God has brought more road trip buddies. Monthly, I co-facilitate a women’s weight loss support group. I’ve received much fortitude in sharing, caring and growing with REAL WOMEN, that are totally hysterical too! Only as God can do, another woman leads a writer’s group that I have been blessed to grow and attend one night a month. As I hone writing skills, I need others on the writing journey too! I’ve received so much help and support. It’s a big deal trusting new people with writing pieces because they are the insides of me.
A couple of months ago, three girlfriends and I started up a prayer group. We each invited one girlfriend and the six of us meet one night every month or every other month. We leave refreshed and rejuvenated!
Truth be told, I need others to grow in my relationship to Him. It’s impossible to do it alone. We are to operate as one body. Jesus told us clearly, one part cannot operate alone.
Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. Romans 12:4-5 (NIV)
We need the mouth of encouragement, the ears of mercy, the arms of service, the foot to kick us in the butt!
The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ. 1 Corinthians 12:12 (NIV)
This weight loss journey has required discipline. I’ve needed discipline. As a military veteran, you might think discipline comes more naturally to me. Yes and no. I’ve had to place additional discipline to keep my priorities properly placed. It’s a juggling act at times but I believe great lives do not occur by accident. They occur with a plan in place. Just as great companies don’t get great by accident – they go forward based off of a plan, that is continually tweaked.
I received a big nugget from my devotion, 100 Days of Character by Stephen Arterburn. The Character Builder today was, “A disciplined lifestyle gives you more control: The more disciplined you become, the more you can take control over your life (which, by the way, is far better than letting your life take control over you). (p.15)
I leave you with this question – Do you have road trip buddies? Are you getting by with a little help from your friends or traveling alone?
If yes, celebrate the blessings in your life! Drop a stamped letter to a friend telling her how much you appreciate her!
If not, I want to encourage you, in Luke 6:12, the Bible says Jesus first went to the mountainside to pray, and then He picked the twelve. Pray first and ask God who you should consider travelling with? If it happens to be a Peter/Judas (betrayer) don’t quit trying; Jesus didn’t and we shouldn’t either!
And last but certainly not least…enjoy the journey, don’t just focus on the destination!
