ENCOURAGED IN HEART

Happy Valentine’s Day from the Finks!

Well, this blogcast was planned to be videoed and published this morning, before church.  Then, low and behold – an argument, a monstrous argument occurred. Blech.

It’s not easy to act nice, let alone do a blogcast on loving your spouse, when you’re mad at em’. Dave and I don’t ever want to be hypocrites.

So we waited.

And went to church.

Pastor Kent preached on marriage.

We don’t believe in coincidences.

During the sermon, I reached out to hold Dave’s arm, he withdrew.

At prayer time, Dave reached out to hold my hand and pray, I didn’t squeeze back.

We ate a chilly lunch at Subway.

We came home and, at times tearfully, talked it out.

Know how it ended?

In a huge hug with a commitment to keep “keeping on” for each other because we love each other so much.

We’ve learned from our past, and continue to learn and study one another, because we’re each (now) a favorite subject to study. That’s why we know we’re not hypocrites, because we’re doing what I’m typing.

I write this to let you know, if you argue/disagree/whatever you call it with your spouse, you’re not alone.
Getting married is easy; staying married…that’s where the hard work comes in. Dave and I are committed to studying each other and great resources. We are students of one another and have needed to do homework. Homework in the school of love, a school that never takes breaks.

Here’s a list of some homework that has helped us keep educated:

1) Moments Together For Couples by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. We’ve read this devotional together at night, before bedtime.

2) Both “I Still Do” and “Weekend to Remember” are sponsored by Family Life. They are great conferences to attend no matter whether your marriage is on the Honor Roll or in Detention.

3) Marriage Today has tons of great resources. Since we’re partners with them, they send us a monthly CD/DVD for free! The Finkster listens to them on his work commute, I listen to them while on the elliptical or cooking.

4.) Praying together…often.

5.) Laugh Your Way To A Better Marriage. We did this as group small group – it was fun and educational.

6.) Daily private times with God. (God guides us with what to say, or more appropriately, what NOT to say when we’re happy, fighting or watching a WVU Mountaineer game which would be nothing…say NOTHING while the game’s on!)

7.) The Love Dare The Finkster read and did this one.

8.) The Power of A Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian For obvious reasons (that the Finkster is not a wife), I read this. If you can get through the first chapter (gulp) than you can make it through the entire book!

9.) Intimate Issues by Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus I read this book with my friends, Jen and Val. (We first got permission from our spouses as to what they felt comfortable for us gals to talk about as the book focuses on God’s view of sex.)

10.) Watch the Fireproof movie together. We went to go see this movie with our dear friends and fellow firefighter TJ and Jo. We did dinner before and was a great couples night out!

We know Valentines is just about done. But thankfully your and my marriages aren’t. Dave and I both believed that someone on the world wide web needed this post, and the enemy ain’t gonna “win” here – no ma’am, not tonight and not after all we’ve been through. We almost handed our marriage over on a silver platter nine years ago; But God…

We believe someone needs this blogcast and that’s why we’re going to finish and publish before the day is done…at a time when both my big hair and energy are wilted. Humph.

Keep on working, and studying your spouse and don’t quit!

What’s one thing you’ve done that’s helped your marriage get on the “Honor Roll”?