ENCOURAGED IN HEART

I’m writing to you from beautiful Bluffton,South Carolina in the accomadating Marriott office space. The Finkster is shaving while the boys are enjoying some TV time. I mascaraed my lushious lashes quick to pump out a post!

Just had to tell you some exciting goings-ons…The Fink Fam’s headed to Disney and we’re psyched! Jake can’t wait to meet Donald the Duck, (that’s what he keeps calling him…and feels the need to speak like the duck after), Cal had his shorts on the correct way today in route to breakfast today (don’t ask about yesterday). When I noticed, “Yay Cal, you have your shorts on the correct way!” He shook his head saying, “I just guessed…”

Anyhoo…

Many of you joined the “Encouraged In Heart” journey, when I did weekly posts of where I was at in my weekly weigh in..along with a nugget that God laid on my heart that week. I’d like to first say, THANKS for hanging with me as we continue this journey together!

Knowing that you were there to read my progress, helped keep me accountable to keep on, keepin’ on!

I was able to lose 70 pounds, that’s a whole-lotta-
Jersey-girl to leave behind, but was only able to keep 60 of em’ off. God used the Lose it For Life book, workbook and devotional by Stephen Arteburn as such an amazing resource to apply spiritual motivation to a physical and emotional problem.

It was then that I faced and realized that I was an emotional eating addict.

Just the word “addict” gives me the hibbidey-gibbideys.

I weeped because I don’t want to be controlled by anything but God. And God’s been loving and guiding me through.

When I surrendered that 60 pounds was all I could keep off doing what I was doing, I joined Weight Watchers. I needed help in relearning what a portion size looks like.

I cried the entire way home from my first meeting with mean self talk, “What kind of loser gets to 60 pounds and just can’t finish the job?”

“Why do I have to waste my time cramming something else into my already full life just to lose weight/be healthy?”

“Why can’t this just be easy?”

“God, why can’t you just lift the pressure food has on me so I can get on to bigger and better things in life with you?”

I recently heard Stephen Arterburn speak, where he said, “Do what you need to do to perserve the gains that you’ve made.”

Joining Weight Watchers was the next best step for me to preserve the gains (or losses – however you look at it!) that I’ve made. His words were the hug from God that I needed. I need that support group, where people understand me (Lord help em’!).

My accountability time with Nancy this week came about a word – what we joked was “the word of the day”.

Acceptance.

I’ve been committed on this journey for eight years now…and have “accepted” to be on it until I reach the pearly gates cause I know that I was imprisoned by being overweight/obese and not as free to serve God while weighed down.

Acceptance means saying, this is who I am today, prayerfully, not forever…and if it is forever, I won’t be alone, because God’s on my side – you gals too.

I no longer want to beat myself up for who I am not, but rather celebrate myself for who I am…

I am a King’s daughter.

I am loved by God.

I am a sinner, saved by grace.

And currently, a women who struggles with food and needs a program to help keep me “sober”.

I am determined to be found, until my very last breath, actively pursuing God’s best for my life.

Tuesday morning I went to Weight Watchers and found that I HIT MY GOAL WEIGHT!

I’m feeling quite emotionally vulnerable these days as I’m not using food to medicate my emotions and therefore feeling a lot more.

I was feeling (oh these emotions of mine) rather embarassed to take our sons with me to my Weight Watchers weigh in. I didn’t stay for the meeting as the list of things to get done before vacation, well, let’s just say, was not a short one. But I had to prioritize this weigh in before going on the road for a week.

The boys inquired why I was going. I told them, “Mom wants to be healthy for God, and I struggle with eating too much and need help and encouragement to be healthy. Boys, when you’re struggling, get help!”

“When you’re struggling, get help!”

I don’t want to beat up my Pop here, honestly I don’t, but that was not a message I learned as a young grieving girl who needed help processing my mother’s death. Not just my mother’s death. My grandfather died two years before, then my mother, then my dog, then my grandmother (that moved in with us). Four deaths in less than five years is a lot for anyone to handle. I was taught to just suck it up and press on. So, I just stuffed my ever-revolving emotions with food.

To be fair to my Pop, I did learn to never quit from him, and that life lesson is proving vital in my weight loss success.

Well, we’re up to 36 of 50 states on the liscense plate game, and each new state that we’ve entered, the boys and I pumped our arms rapidly to successully have the truckers honk for us (Finkster wasn’t havin’ any of it).

Disney here we come…but even more importantly, I’m traveling one day closer to the “Magical Kingdom”…the mansion with many rooms, where my greatest heart’s desire is to hear the King say, “My child, job well done.”

Will you accept yourself for where you are today? Will you do, what you need to do, to do the next right thing for your life?