“Mommy, what are these called?” Cal kept on pointing to his brown circles that were equidistant on his bare chest.
“Nipples, Cal. They’re called nipples.”
“Ohhhhhhhhhh, I like my ‘nickles’!”
What am I supposed to say here???? So, I smiled and said nothing.
Knowing my precious son and his love of “nickles”…I’m here to report that nickels (not “those” type of nickels…the real (silver) ones) are openly talked about, again, for two reasons, and two reasons only.
1. Bribery works.
2. I’m pathetic.
You know me, I’m a clothes conformist. I feel that it is my God-given privilege to teach my children that God is good, manners are important, character counts and which direction clothes go on. You know this is not a new “thing” in the Fink fam. You’ve traveled with me through Cal’s “Pockets” stage and my, “Do you feel the difference with your clothes on backwards?” Oh, I’ve tried to play like I’m a s-m-o-o-t-h operator, that Cal’s backwards pants didn’t irk me. But they did, and I self-talked many times, “It’s a stage, he’s dressed, no big deal, let it go, it’s okay, he won’t walk into walls just cause his pants are on backwards…”
Needless to say, I twitched a lot. I let him wear em’ backwards saying to myself, “If it doesn’t bug him, I’m not going to let it bug me. I knew (no I didn’t) that he’d get the hang of it someday…”
It’s been one year later (from the above pic) and I am very happy to report that Cal’s pants are going on in the correct direction. His shirts however have not been.
The twitch is back.
After a couple of gentle, “Oh Cal, I see that the front of your shirt is higher up on your neck. Maybe your shirt is on backwards? Do you feel the difference?” Tell me you feel the difference my child!
Realizing that the “clothes conformist” returned, I negotiated, What am I missing here? Could my child be the 2011-suburbia-version of Kris Kross and I’m stifling him with my narrow-forward-clothes-wearin’ ways?
Maybe, and maybe not. Only God knows. Which leads me to my next story.
It was a Sunday, and Sunday’s are sacred. If there is a day of the week that clothes should be on forward, I believe it should be on sacred Sunday.
Cal walked into our master bathroom, with both his sweater and shirt on backwards. Since I’m trying to “Celebrate Calm” in my parenting style I very calmly and most composedly said, “Honey, every day you wear your shirts forward, I’ll pay you a nickel.” The bribe just flung outta me. Cal smiled giving me a “thumbs up” and upon his exit I began shellacking my big hair with hairspray when the Finkster said, “So, we’re bribing our kids now?”
“Don’t judge me, Dave…I’m losing my marbles over here!”
Please, I beg you…don’t let me be pathetic alone.
What is your favorite, pathetic, bribe-your-kid-to-get-what-you-want-moment? I know there are a lot of teachers that read this blog too, I’ll even take a pathetic-bribe-your-student-moment!
How do I bribe parents to only send their kids to school with mittens, never gloves! 16 four year olds, each with 10 fingers and a pair of gloves to get on… I can’t even do the math for that many fingers! So, an extra free hour of school in May if you buy them mittens? Do I have any takers????
Chocolate Mary….that’s how you bribe any good parent!
I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult it is to keep up with all those fingers as when I volunteered on PJ (Green Eggs and Ham) day…I couldn’t keep up with the lovies and slippers! YOU ROCK … TEACHERS ROCK!
When my oldest was refusing to potty train in the middle of summer, I told her daddy would buy her diamond earrings if she went potty like a big girl….fast forward to late fall, she finally spent a whole day dry in panties and even through that night. Woke up the next morning and the first words out of her mouth were “Let’s go get my diamonds” Of course we went and got her earrings later that week. I am a momma of my word
I guess you are not the only one that loves her bling!!!
Diamonds….why on earth have I never thought of such things??? My DIL has got it going on with her bling-a-licious self!!! I know how pathetic I got with potty training. I just swore that I’d NEVER use food to motivate. Before too long I was passing out M&M’s like a crack dealer on street corner.
There is a dry erase board in our kitchen with 7 categories (various chores) and 2 columns (kids names). They get a point (the equivalent of 10 cents) for each job done. At the end of the week I pay in change and they put it in their new banks. I got these banks at 5 below and they count the money as the kids fill them on a digital screen at the top. They love these banks! And for 10 cents a job, I love them too! The fun is in the competition of “how many points do you have?”. Some would consider this bribery, or slave labor. I consider it learning about economics
I love how you’re teaching Miss Manners and Mr Stalked (by Cal) “economics”!!!! Awesome!!!!
FEEL BETTER SOON!
To my 7-yr old dictator, “I will get you a puppy if you can go 1 day without telling us all what to do”. She said, “Oh Great, guess we’ll never see a dog around here”.
(me spraying my smoothie….) HILARIOUS that she is confident that she has a dog-less future!