Really?!?!
I drove home from physical therapy two weeks ago and felt a little, “Ugh!” about life.
How am I supposed to write and blog and prepare for my next talk when physical therapy’s taking up so. much. time?
I crept out and examined when I could safely take a right on red to head home, “BAM!” The car behind me, hit me.
Really?!?!?
Alright God, I see this could be an opportunity to share about you. No more complaining, guard my mouth. Help me use my mouth in a good way, not in the way I’m currently feeling (like, “Ugh!”).
I exited my sexy minivan only to be greeted with Myself. A 14 years younger, fine…thinner, version of me.
“Your brake lights don’t work!”
Really?!?! Cue internal eye roll.
Seeing this for what it was, an opportunity to exercise self-control while really REALLY?!? not feelin’ it, I stretched out a meek smile and gently (that’s a miracle right there) replied, “Let’s exchange insurance cards.”
Myself agreed. Then asked if we could pull over to the local Starbucks (see what I’m saying…this is myself) parking lot to get to a safer location.
I agreed with Myself.
As I drove away, I stewed. My brake lights don’t work?!?! REALLY!?!
Now I need to call the cops because I can already see where Myself wants to take this, which unfortunately was not inside Starbucks for an Italian Roast blend brew and a hearty discussion of why God allows bad things to happen to good people.
In the commute time across the busy intersection, I reconvened with the Big G and called the Finkster.
He agreed that I need to call the cops and prayed. (He prayed because he knows Myself as he lives with her.)
We pulled into Starbucks parking lot and I called the cops.
Myself then advised, “Only my car is damaged and I have to get to work!”
Oh Myself, please stop talking. You’re irritating me to my inner core because you are myself. A reformed hot head that displaced blame, whose time was more important than others, and was on the prowl for a good argument because Myself is RIGHT. (wrong) Myself, I so get you, and while mildly entertained, am equally annoyed by you too.
Did I mention it was raining out?
Any hoo…
I stretched a smile and calmly advised, “My car IS damaged and I have to get back to work too (because I’m a writer that’s not been having time to write!)” I spared her the details. (Another miracle.)
The cop arrived. I slipped in that I was a former cop because I wanted to gain quick favor and a quick exodus out of here. Not sayin’ it’s right, but I am sayin’ it’s what I did.
The cop confirmed that my break lights worked and we exchanged paper work.
Myself softened by addressing me now as, “Ma’am” (or was it a dig at my age?) either way, it’s progress.
So Really?!?! why’d I share all this with you?
To get a pity party? Two days ago, my answer would have been a big. fat. YES!
But today brings a different reason because in time, God provides clearer vision.
It’s difficult to see clearly while riding aboard the crazy train.
If I focused on the irritation of another time delay, calls to insurance and the like, instead of focusing on the opportunity, then I go back to being Myself.
I can’t go back to riding the Myself crazy train.
If I focus on being Myself, a hot head that displaces blame, whose time is more important than others, is always right, on the prowl for a good argument and not considering how I’ve injured someone else, then there is no room for God because it’s all about Myself.
If I focus on seeing Myself in others then something very powerful occurs.
Compassion trumps inconvenience.
If I focus that God provided a woman, Myself, via an insurance card to pray for and I don’t then who Really?!?! am I.
I’m not writing this to be holy. I writing this to be real.
The world out there is weeping in pain. If I provide more pain and anger and snarky-ill-placed-sarcasm, then aren’t I just conforming to the pattern of this weeping world?
Really?!?!
The past two months, in relentless measure, God’s been allowing the Finkster and I to be s-q-u-e-e-z-e-d in some very significant character building opportunities.
God’s not transforming me to go back to being a mouthy hot head. No. He’s asking me to come up higher and see life differently.
God gave me Myself. I will be patient and I will pray for Myself and myself.
Is there Really?!?! someone in your life that you need to pray for right now?
This is Really?!!? God’s heart to …respond by humbling themselves, praying, seeking my presence, and turning their backs on their wicked lives, I’ll be there ready for you: I’ll listen from heaven, forgive their sins, and restore their land to health. (excerpt from 2 Chronicles 7:14 Message)
Pin It
