ENCOURAGED IN HEART

Jake and I had a date last month to his school staff Matball (it’s like kickball) game at our local high school.

I was psyched because lately I’ve been feeling…hummmm, what’s the right word????

JEALOUS.

That’s right, I said it. Jealous. Jealous because I have to share my kids with the world. Ever since school and homework and sports and friends and now I’m working some evenings…the Mom-son time feels scarce. And I feel jealous.

Jake was psyched too. He grabbed his popcorn coupon and three dollars of his own money. This was a first. He wanted to buy his date a popcorn. Did I mention it was with his own money?

Melt. my. heart.

As soon as we arrived, Jake was on the lookout for popcorn. Mind you, I don’t love popcorn…me love me some chocolate, but the boy was willing to spend his own money so my melted heart just followed my cute popcorn provider up the bleacher stairs where we promptly saw and sat next to Jake’s friend.

The jealously came back.

As if that’s not enough, another boy saw Jake and his friend. Three boys sat, as happy as pigs in mud, next to ~~my date~~ one another. As for melt. my. heart? She became a tad. more. jealous.

It took all of about ten minutes for the boys to ask to go down to the court to cheer in the students section you know, where the students are. The other two parents and I agreed with a, “Just stay together.”

I smiled on the outside but frowned on the inside. I shared with Desmond’s mom (who has an older son) about Jake and my date and that I have a love-hate relationship with my boys growing up. She smiled knowingly and agreed. When Jake returned she asked if she could take our picture. She’s a mom and knows who’s normally behind the camera and she also knows a mother’s love…(yes, that’s her son who bunny eared Jake so he gets some cool points in Jealous’ book).

Then at church this Sunday, I sat behind an adorable six week old, Gabriel. He was as snug as a bug in a ~~rug~~ car seat. His parents sat on either side of his rear facing car seat to protect him from strange women that drool on their son from the row behind. Gabriel held his little pointer finger up as if he was going to make a most profound point if, if only he could keep those heavy eyes open…nope….zzzzzzz….

I felt in a word, yes you guessed right…jealous. It used to be so easy to protect my kids when they were confined to a car seat and asleep in the middle of church.

And now, it’s getting more difficult. They’re spending more time in the world and less time at home and that makes me feel happy and also jealous because some days, I just don’t want to share my kids with the rest of the world. Humph.

And then there are other days…that I’d pay someone to take my kids because I just. can’t. take. one. more. attitude. (I’m talking about the kids here…fine, me too.)

Towards the middle of the church service, Jake curled up on the Finkster’s lap. Again, I felt…jealous as I peeped over at little Gabriel. Moments later, Cal slid up in my lap and melted his cheek into my shoulder.

Thank you, God…I really, really needed that.

Yesterday was our last day of Spring Break. I wanted to make it an “us” kinda day. The boys were psyched. And I was even more psyched that they were psyched!

We decided to make a volcano and play some tennis.

And as we played tennis I had this thought, which led to this post.

I am jealous for time with my beautiful kids. I think they rock the house. As I looked up at the gorgeous baby blue sky, I wondered just how jealous God is for time with His kids… you and me?

Deuteronomy 6:13-19 says, “Deeply respect God, your God. Serve and worship him exclusively. Back up your promises with his name only. Don’t fool around with other gods, the gods of your neighbors, because God, your God, who is alive among you is a jealous God.”

After the paint dried, we erupted our volcano with, ahem, six other friends. Guess God’s teaching me how to share!