ENCOURAGED IN HEART

I’m always on the look out for a good book. And, if it’s a really, really good book, then you just never know where I might pop up… all because I’m a trained stalker investigator and want to thank the author personally.

Since I’m looking for a good read, I wanted to share what I felt were the best two books of 2011:

The Faith of Leap, The: Embracing a Theology of Risk, Adventure & Courage by Michael Frost and Alan Hirsch.

If you’re looking to be inspired and equally challenged in your faith journey, than this book is a must read. If you want to be a couch potato for Jesus, then I guess you can just keep on munching the Pringles. Or, if you want to do something about eating Pringles on the couch may I suggest the other best book of 2012…

Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst.

The eating addiction is no joke. It’s not been just “a little problem” in my life. And I’ll most likely write about my recovery until I’m home in heaven. Until that time, I pray that other friends begin their God centered journey to freedom with me and we can grow in faith to let God increase so we can decrease. (I’m not just talking about our pants size!)

As a random sidenote, I’d like to point out that I’ve met two of the above three authors. I’m not sure if this is an official heads up for Michael Frost but I believe it is safe to say, I have my work cut out for me in 2012 craving deeper, more real faith!

What was the best read of 2012? WASSUP?

There’s a gap between the woman I am and the woman I want to be.

Much like control top panty hose or spanx, I’d like to “mind the gap” and be mindful of where two points don’t meet (or overlap but that’s a different post for a different day). Ahem…

In Ross, I practiced behaving more like the woman I want to be and less like the woman I am.

Last week I had lunch with a dear girlfriend at a fab Italian restaurant. I ate like the woman I wanted to be. I had a cappuccino, goat cheese salad and dessert. I didn’t need to eat every last bite because I was satisfied.

For my fellow recovering eating addicts, you know what a big deal this is.

(Please note I did not write “sip” because I’m minding the gap and not delusional, okay? I’ll forfeit bites of Italian rum cake over sips of Italian coffee. Delicious coffee wasted is just.not.right.)

I’m allowing time, a gap of space and practice for God to mold me from the woman I am to the woman I want to be. The woman I believe that He wants me to be.

Celebrate progress where and when ever you can. I just did. Celebrate here!

Where do you want to mind the gap? What are some traits of the woman you want to be? Next given opportunity, will you practice being her to mind (and bridge) the gap?

Do you like yourself?

No, I’m not kidding.

Do you like yourself?

I don’t mean, “Do you worship yourself?” I mean, “Do you like yourself?”

The reason I ask this is because I needed to make a willful choice to be nice to myself, today. Just this morning.

When I stepped on Lucy and saw that I haven’t maintained my goal weight, I made a choice.

My old pattern would be to blame my crazy life on the five extra pounds.
My new pattern is to blame my response to life I’ve chosen to live.

Taking responsibility is not something I’m particularly fond of but it is something I need to do to be healthy on all fronts.

This is what I said to myself just today (HELLO, CRAZY WOMAN!), “I’m not where I want to be but I am not going to lose another day hating myself for what I am not.”

I’ve been around that mountain, riding the crazy train, hating myself before. I refuse to bow down and worship all my insecurities and what I feel like are failures. I don’t want to lose more time focusing on what I’m not than what I am or more importantly, Who I love.

I am a woman who desperately wants to honor God in all things…not just some things. The main reason I won’t go into that all too familiar self-hate mode is because it hurts God’s heart.

It’s true. It grieves God’s heart to hate myself. I used to think it was pious. Now I just think it’s pitiful.

God carefully knit me together in my mom’s womb. To speak out, “I suck” and tell God that He didn’t do a very good job is well, skating on some very. thin. Ice.

And I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to skate on thin ice ever, especially when I’m not at goal weight.

I am not at my goal weight but thankfully, I have a circle of friends that love me right now, today. I emailed these friends that struggle and stride as I do, some thoughts and felt, well…lighter.

Making the choice to willfully appreciate yourself today…this day, makes God happy. It makes me happy too.

I will get to my goal weight again. I know I will because this time I’m trusting God to get me there. All the lessons He’s teaching me along the way are precious. He’s worth trusting.

The lesson today is to thank God for how He made you…today.

Who’s with me?