First things first – let me put a sub claimer on that title. I am in no way a gymnast. The only split I performed was accidental. I ran down a wet field hockey field in high school and… “SHAZAM!”
(My split looked NOTHING like this!)
So any gals that are, were or will be a gymnast; please forgive me for any weak terminology!
Walking on a balance beam is no joking matter. Without the proper balance you will fall and get hurt. From observation only, when the gymnast holds her head high and confidently, and her body is not weighed down, balance is successfully achieved.
I desire a balanced life. I’ve used the tight rope analogy before. Balance, sweet precious balance. his Jersey girl constantly pursues and adjusts. Just when I think I’ve got it, there’s a new bump or twist and down I fall.
God recently shed light on my balance beam walking (how I balance life).
I was too weighed down to walk with my head held high. Know what the heavy weight was/is? (PLEASE tell me you did not say my butt!) My pride. (Oh, is that all that’s keeping me from my goal weight?!?!) Too many “I” and not enough “us/we”.
Recently, we found out that Dave’s job will temporarily require lots more hours there and less here. Not forever, just for now. Time to rebalance life, again. Me, big tough girl thought, “I can do/figure this out all by myself, I’ve done more difficult stuff, no sweat.”
And down I fell, from the beam. Another boo boo.
When two dear old friends learned of Dave’s new job requirements they both offered help, but said that I’m too thick-headed to receive it. Okay, so they didn’t say it like that, but that was their point, put much more gracefully (cause they love me!).
I made a pact with God that I will find a way to say “yes” to offers for help. (There’s some noticeably wobbly walking now, but head is lifting up…as weight is being lifted off!)
YES!
Bella (the friend I know I can depend on, to tell me if my fly’s down or lipstick stuck to my teeth) said, “I know you’re going to try to do it all Steph…” and to that I say <DEEP CLEANSING BREATH>, “Can you watch the boys once a month so I can go to my writers group?” Know what that dear old friend said? “YES, NO PROBLEM!”
Leslie (the friend I need to wear a Depends around because she CRACKS me up) said, “I know you’re not going to take help” and to that I say <DEEP CLEANSING BREATH>, “Can you watch the boys Saturday morning so I can stud-i-fy (she knows what that means, she speaks my weird jive too) myself at the gym?” Know what that dear old friend said? “YES, NO PROBLEM!”
Linda, Jess, Jenn, and Jen offered food! (Food…FOOD! WHY would I say no to that?! Don’t ask me, but that was my old pattern of balance beam walking!) I said (HOLY COW!), “Yes, thank you!” (Twitching so much on the inside, so much that I think I’ve dropped at least a dress size, okay it’s a little over one pounds this week, and that’s FAB-O to ME-O!)
Nancy, Jen, Ginger, Kathy, Val, and Mags are lifting us up in prayer…I know that’s The Source that sustains. They know it too, that’s why they pray (uh, oh, I’m feeling a little MC Hammer come out in me!)!
Friends really do want to help me. I feel overwhelmed by God’s love in them. I’ve needed a check up from my neck up for denying help. A huge part of emotional eating recovery is the discovery that I cannot do “it”, (life) alone, as God did not intend it that way.
I remember my darkest hour nine years ago; I was deep in the pit and thought no one cared.
I understand today, they were there, but I pushed them away because, “I can do it all by myself” – my sinful pride blocked any and all help. In turn, I fell hard, deeper into the pit because I refused balance and carried the weight all alone. I made it my choice to walk alone. It was heavy, difficult and lonely.
The moral of the story is, if you want to have a gymnast body, have your friends make meals for you and watch your kids…NO NO NO!
Today, with my shining super-star friends, this won’t be a dark time – because God’s light beams through them!
If you want a balanced, joy filled, dynamic life – DO LIFE TOGETHER! Share the weight of the load and walk more confidently on the balance beam of life! Watch what you’ll be able to do…the unthinkable!
Yes, because God’s your refuge,
the High God your very own home,
Evil can’t get close to you,
harm can’t get through the door.
He ordered his angels
to guard you wherever you go.
If you stumble, they’ll catch you;
their job is to keep you from falling.
Excerpts from Psalm 91:1-13, The Message.
Lord, thank you for radiant angels today! Letting precious friends carry some of my weight is making me lighter, maybe-maybe not on Lucy, but emotionally, I’m flying high girl! I’m kind of scared on the balance beam, but wow-ee is it easier with less weight on my back!
(I grew my hair out and lost about 30% body fat for the above picture!)
Lessons thus far:
Lesson 1: When I say “fine”…it’s not “fine”. I will reach out for help!
Lesson 2: Giving and not receiving is not balanced.
Lesson 3: Not keeping balance distanced me from going deeper in relationships.
Lesson 4: I’m nicer when I’m not a total spazz (imagine that one!).
How’s your balance beam walking look today? Heavy and alone, light and connected, maybe somewhere in between?
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