The Finkster and I have been well-educated in the art of survival. Not just the military sense of “survival” where you make a shelter from your parachute remains and eat bugs and such. No, survival in staying married. It’s easy to get married…but far less easy to stay married. One of the most important “tools” that we’ve found in staying married, and happily so…is margin. We’re learning that margin doesn’t just happen; no, we have to plan for margin. And a planning we will go… 
a planning we will go, high ho the dairy-o, a planning we will go…to be mell-O!
Margin.
Blech. Just typing the word irritates me.
Peace.
Ahhhh. Just typing the word relaxes my shoulders.
Margin’s been the word of the month in our place. Last month, the Finkster and I decided that our guys won’t be participating in this upcoming Fall sports season. While we love sports, we love peace, more. When we move this Fall, we have to plan for not just the boxes (the physical part of a move), we also have to make accommodations for peace (the emotional part of the move). Moving is stress-ful and we want stress-less. We’d love to be stress-free, but will settle for stress-less.
So off my brain went…What will happen to Cal’s fielding skills in T-ball, and batting…he’s made so much progress, and Jake, the team MVP, will he lose all sense of kick?
Someone’s losing sense alright, and it isn’t Jake’s feet.
Weeks ago at dinner, the Finkster told the boys the plan. We thought they’d have a fit. And, they couldn’t have cared less. I believe their response was, “Okay. Can I go play Wii now?” 
One season off will most likely not eliminate them from their potential varsity jackets, collegiate scholarships, NFL contracts, Olympic spot or the like. It will however allow peace to flow more easily into our lives. And more peace means a more mellow Momma. And life is so much better, for all parties, with a mello Momma.
We’ve not moved in almost a decade and don’t plan to move again for another 2-3 decades. And this time, unlike the many other times we’ve moved while still in the military, we’re focused on enjoying the journey to Dave’s man cave and my front porch.
We felt pretty darn good about that decision.
Then, more life happened. Life sure has a way of doing that, huh? Well, the Finkster’s physical didn’t come up as we expected. So, we need to adjust, again. While he’s very private about his medical condition, he would sincerely appreciate prayers for a full and complete healing. He decided to take a three to six month leave of absence from his fire duty crew, to take the time and energy necessary to recuperate. He felt horrible about calling his fire chief, but did what was best and I just adore him for it! He’ll still on the Board of Directors as well as serving as the Vice President, but he won’t be pulling the normal over night duty crews.
So what’s this mellow Momma doing for team Fink?
My family needs me and I need my family. I’ve lived through seasons when just “one more thing” seemed so little, and doable and not a big deal. But “one more thing” a straw, can break a camel’s back…or break up a solid marriage into smithereens.
Yesterday, I wrote about the Good Samaritan, and how we need to dare to live a life that can be “interrupted” in our daily scheduled programming of life. But I also want to caution you, as I’ve been recently cautioned, pursue balance most. Be interrupted while maintaining balance. Balance is a difficult skill to master and to be honest with you, I don’t know if I’ll ever “master” it, that’s why I consistently pursue my Master for guidance.
I love it in the eighth chapter of Luke, when the disciplines were feeling the storms of life around them and were freaking out. (I can relate, I’m a lunatic!) And there was Jesus , just chillin’, asleep. They yelled out, “Master, Master!” and Jesus calmed the storm. Do you believe that Jesus has the power to calm the storms of your life today?
I do.
But the thing about me is, I often try to just hang on and steer through the storms of life, instead of pausing to give a shout out to, “Master, Master!” The pursuit of a balanced life means that sometimes I have to say “No” to good things to say “Yes” to the best. Having margin, staying married and being mellow are up there on my list of “best”, but I need help from my Master to discern which is a “yes” and which is a “no”. Or even better yet, that, “Every Yes Involves a No” (an awesome encouragement by Glyniss Whitwer).
How do you maintain a margin in your life? What areas to you find that you struggle with the most?
