ENCOURAGED IN HEART

I hate that it’s been soooooo l-o-n-g since my last post.

I’ve been busy. Busy with basically just two things.

1. Temper tantruming.
2. Counting my points.

As if #2 doesn’t take enough time, you just wouldn’t believe how much time it’s taking me to accomplish #1. And it’s all because of #2.

Gheesh.

The above two things have resulted from a series of events and two statements:

1. “The right choice is almost never the easy choice.” Finkster circa February 2010.
2. “Every Yes Involves a No” a Proverbs 31 Ministries Daily Devotion by Glynnis Whitwer.

For me, the next right choice was to that I joined Weight Watchers last week. Not an easy choice, but the right choice.

The past 7 years I’ve slowly lost 70 pounds but only maintained 60. I feel good now, but felt great 10 pounds ago. I’m saying, “No” to food and, “Yes” to God. When anything controls me more than the Lord, the statement is reversed…and that’s no good.

I want to have a great relationship to and with food, but even more importantly, to God. So I’m going to humble my flesh (again) at the plate, in order to fill more up on God.

Counting points is obnoxious. I hate doing it but figure the temper tantrums will subside and my good ol’ Type A self will kick in and embrace the anal retentitveness of counting my points.

As for the temper tantruming, well, it burns calories (aka: activity points in Weight Watcher jargon), so can it really be that bad?

I arrived home last night from my big weekend away to Concord, NC.

The best word I have to describe She Speaks, ENCOURAGING.

The best word I have to describe me, WEEPY.

As a woman with a passion to encourage woman, I find myself at times…discouraged. Why? Because I have a distinguished resume of Olympic-level sin. Because I have so much to learn. Because I’m so imperfect. Because b-e-c-o-m-i-n-g is a process that just can’t be checked off the good ol’ “to do” list. (And it doesn’t help that I’m a psycho Type A git-r-done kinda gal! ).

B-e-c-o-m-i-n-g a writer is a brand new “life” for me. Most of you know I was a cop (with limited writing skills). It seemed odd at best, that this could be the purpose of my life…to write, to encourage women to live a purposeful and powerful life in Christ.

And I guess that’s why it makes perfect sense. Because my mind didn’t come up with this.

“…no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9 (New International Version)

You know when you’ve been praying for something to happen for so long…then, you experience tender confirmation?

That’s why I keep weeping.

Then, to be surrounded by 600 women who burn with passion to communicate God’s love, that raise their hands in worship because they’re really worshiping, that traveled from over 40 states, and 4 countries to unite, learn and pray in Concord, NC…

That’s why I’m encouraged.

Friday night I had the opportunity to thank a woman very significant in my life…the woman that God used to grant me a confirmation on my path of b-e-c-o-m-i-n-g. The editor of P31 magazine, Glynnis Whitwer. The woman who allows me to say that I’ll be a “published” author. I couldn’t even finish my brief thank you with out weeping (and I can assure you that as a former military officer that’s not my norm).

It’s not (just) because she said “yes” and I’ll be published. I’d by lying if I wrote I wasn’t freaking out and totally psyched! My tears were about a revelation God made to me through an email Glynnis sent me, the details are just too precious to share. My tears avalanched into her eyes getting misty and a good ol’ boob to boob hug.

My boob-to-boob-hug count meter self-combusted this weekend.

Then Saturday, after the amazing Jennifer Rothschild spoke, I exited that last night session and entered the “prayer room” there. (Which was an actual room that was open all throughout the conference.) I don’t know how long I stayed in there, but all I know is that the tears couldn’t stop pouring out. And the only thing I could hear is various sniffs, weeps and noses that blowed into tissues.

Thank you Lysa TerKeurst and the amazing Proverbs 31 staff.

Thank you sweet Kim (who I met two years ago at She Speaks), for rooming and talking with me until all hours of the night, I love you so much girl!

For all the above reasons and even more, like meeting new friends, being inspired by women who have been there and done that…

That’s why I’m so grateful to God…would someone please pass me another tissue!?!?